This week's <span style="font-style:italic;">parashah</span>/portion is <span style="font-style:italic;">Va'yera</span> (Bereshit/Genesis 18:1 – 22:26). In this <span style="font-style:italic;">parashah</span> we read of the <span style="font-style:italic;">Akeidah</span>, or binding, of Isaac/<span style="font-style:italic;">Yitzhak</span>. After casting out his son Ishmael and his mother Hagar earlier in the chapter, Abraham is commanded by God to sacrifice Isaac. He takes Isaac, along with 2 servant boys, to Mt. Moriah. Leaving the two servants at the foot of the mountain, Abraham and Isaac ascend to the summit. There, Isaac, whom the rabbis claim was 37 years old, allows himself to be bound to the altar in order to be sacrificed. At the moment when Abraham raises the knife, an angel of God calls out to him to stop and instructs him to instead sacrifice a ram that God has provided and who is stuck in a thicket by his horns.<br /><br />Abraham unties Isaac and then sacrifices the ram. There is no mention of Isaac when this sacrifice takes place and the Torah says that Abraham and his servants return to Beersheba alone – without Isaac. Abraham and Isaac never see each other again. The next time Isaac sees his father is when he and Ishmael reunite in order to bury him.<br /><br />Throughout this narrative, Sarah is never mentioned. We have no idea if she was even aware of what was happening. However, the next <span style="font-style:italic;">parashah</span> begins with Sarah's death. For that reason the rabbis connected Sarah's death to the <span style="font-style:italic;">Akeidah</span>, surmising in some commentaries, that her belief that Yitzhak had been killed (or joy over the fact when she found out that he had not) caused her death.<br /><br />The following are four poems that I have written in the voices of Isaac, Sarah, Abraham and God. Then I have followed this with my personal reaction to this story of terror.<br /><br />Due to the fact that blogspot will only publish in one column (I usually format it in 2 columns) this post is extremely long. But I did not want to separate the poems from one another. I hope you enjoy and learn from them. I would LOVE for you to post or write to me with your thought or reactions.<br /><br />Shabbat Shalom,<br /><br />Steven<br /><br />PS I also use specific spacing and margins when writing my poems, but blogspots shifts everything so that it is left justified and I can't seem to do anything about it.<br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">I. Bound Faith </span><br /><br />Yitzhak<br /> my name<br />Yitzhak<br /> a verb<br /> he shall laugh<br />but I cannot laugh <br />the name itself is a cruel joke<br />perhaps <br />they made a mistake<br />maybe <br />it should have been Yitz'ak<br /> he shall cry out<br />no even that is not right<br />for I am not a verb<br />I do not act <br />I simply am<br />I know not <br />what<br /><br />let father decide<br />let mother decide<br />let God decide<br />let me decide<br /> now there's something <br />that makes me laugh<br />but there is <br />no one <br />to hear<br />I am <br />alone <br />I have left <br />father's house<br />though I carry it with me<br />I have left <br />my birthplace<br />Perhaps now I can finally be born<br />I have left <br />my land - my piece of earth <br />never really mine <br /><br />Only one piece of earth truly belongs <br />to me <br />the place <br />where I was bound<br />the place <br /> where I was willing<br />to give up <br /> my life<br /> my self<br />for my father<br />for his God <br />my God<br />the place <br />where I was prepared <br />to act<br />to finally become<br />a verb <br />a man<br />by doing <br />nothing<br /><br />inactive action<br />courageous folly<br />that place <br />that time <br />that moment<br />I became <br />human<br />I became <br />one <br />with God father mother brother self everything<br />I realized <br />in that moment<br />I am alone <br />not alone<br />not bound <br />to the altar of fire<br /> bound <br />to the altar of faith<br />bound faith <br />not <br />blind faith<br /><br />faith<br />in the One <br />who gave me life <br />upon that altar<br />at the moment <br />when I <br />surrendered <br />I chose<br />to act <br /> to do <br /> to make a difference<br />to live <br />by allowing my<br /> self<br />to die<br /><br />I pray <br />that I can continue to act<br />to make <br />a difference<br />to become<br /> a blessing <br /><br />now<br /> I begin<br />my journey<br />to the place <br />not shown to me<br />to the place <br />I will find on my own<br />step by step<br />perhaps that is the point<br />each step of the journey is<br /> the destination<br /> the place<br /> the Divine<br /> where we are meant<br /> to be<br /> to live<br />each place <br />the end and the beginning<br />each place <br />we can bind ourselves<br />to the One the All Existence<br /><br />that is the essence of <br />the sacrifice<br /> the journey<br />of being<br />alive<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />II. A Mother's Trial </span><br /><br />why<br />did I let him go<br />how<br />could I not <br /><br />my son<br />my only one<br />whom I love<br />more than life itself<br />is no more<br /> <br />I could not <br />look<br />I could only <br />hear<br />sitting <br />in my tent<br />surrounded <br />by God’s light<br />afraid<br />I would fail <br />the test<br />rise up <br />from my place<br />run to <br />him<br />embrace <br />him<br />prevent<br />him<br />from going<br /> growing<br /> living<br /><br />I <br />did not <br /><br />I <br />passed the test<br />I <br />kept my screams <br /> tears <br /> fear <br /> self<br />hidden inside<br />I let <br /> him <br />leave <br /> alone<br />with his father<br />knowing that only one would return <br /><br /><br />the only way to fulfill God's promise<br />was to let him go<br />into the wilderness<br />from where we came<br />trusting in God<br />trusting in Abraham<br />trusting the voice in my soul<br /> torn from my body<br />the moment I could no longer<br />hear his voice<br />see his face<br />feel his touch<br />the moment I realized <br />he was no longer<br />mine<br />as he should not be <br /><br />perhaps now<br />he will become<br />who he was meant <br />to be<br />Yitzhak<br />a child of laughter <br /><br />I remember<br />my laughter <br />when told I would give birth <br />Abraham's laughter<br />incredulity or joy or both<br />Yitzhak's laughter<br />a memory <br />a shadow<br /> a childhood long ago cut short<br />the days before he realized<br />he was not <br />to be<br />like other children <br />the days before my fear jealousy hatred <br />masquerading as love<br />tore away his brother from him <br />the only one who truly made him feel<br />not alone <br /><br />perhaps now he will <br />laugh again<br />live again<br />fulfill the promise<br />create a people<br />as numerous as the stars in the sky<br />the sands on the shore<br />shining brightly with the faith of <br />his father<br />able to shift like <br />his mother<br />with ebb and flow <br />constantly changing impermanence<br />of a life<br /> built on hopes and dreams <br />that never turn out <br />as we imagine<br /> <br />I do not know<br />I can only pray <br /> this shall come to pass <br /><br />Now<br />I am alone<br />sitting in my tent<br />only God's light shining above me<br />that is more than enough<br />these days have been longer than any other<br />no<br />not a day<br />one night lasting an eternity<br />the sun remained in hiding<br />never rising never setting <br />only the darkness of the last night <br /><br />in the distance I can see<br />three figures approach<br />two nameless servant boys <br />I do not know<br />nor do I care to<br />a man with whom I have shared <br />what seems 127 life times<br />bent over with sorrow and age<br />he too has passed his test <br /><br /><br />that is all<br />I see<br />no one else<br />that is enough<br />it is done<br />nothing more to do<br />but breathe in<br />and wait<br />for God to descend<br />and take my soulbreath<br />the part that is not with Yitzhak<br />back to its source<br />where it belongs<br />where one day it will be reunited<br />with the soul that came into the world through me<br />and filled me with laughter <br /> joy <br /> life <br /> blessing<br />and who I pray will now do so for those who are yet to come<br /> <br />I am ready<br />to die<br />to be reborn<br />to wait <br />to see<br />what comes next<br />for him<br />for me<br />for him<br />for us all<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />III. After the Ram</span><br /><br />The slaughter was easier<br /> Than I had imagined<br />The sacrifice was not<br /> What I had thought<br />Or was it<br /><br />I did not need to kill him<br /> Instead<br />I let die that part of him<br /> Within me<br /><br />The ram<br /> trapped in the thicket<br />By its horns<br />A father<br /> Trapped in the moment<br /> By his fear and joy<br />A son<br /> Set free at last<br /> By the one <br />Who had kept him bound<br />All those years<br /><br />I saw the ram <br />I knew what I must do<br />As if in a dream<br />I untied the boy <br />Looked at him<br />He turned away<br />I turned my back<br />Knowing<br />I would never see him<br />Again<br /><br />I took my time<br />Did not want to turn and see<br />The inevitable<br />What I finally saw<br /> Nothing<br /> No one<br />He was gone <br /><br />The ram struggled to be free<br />I struggled to let go<br />I bound the ram<br />I saw Yitzhak’s face<br />I slaughtered the ram<br />I saw my tears<br />I burned him on the altar<br />I saw God’s smile<br />I turned to return home<br />I saw Sarah’s scream<br />And I knew<br />The journey <br />Was over<br />The journey<br />Had just begun<br /><br />Yitzhak<br /> May you laugh<br />I had only to slaughter<br />A ram<br />Had only to sacrifice<br />Our relationship<br /><br />I had<br />No choice<br />But to choose<br />This path<br />Now<br />We are each<br />On our own journeys<br />Destinations<br /> Unknown<br />Yet the same<br /><br />As I walk down the mountain<br />To return<br /> To some where<br />I feel some thing<br />In my hand<br /><br />I look down<br />I see<br />A horn<br />A reminder<br />Of what happened<br /> And what did not<br />Of my test<br /> And his<br /> And hers<br /><br />I still have it<br />Today<br />I sound it <br />To remember<br /> That day<br /> That moment<br />All that I lost then<br />All that I have now<br /> Soon to be lost<br />As everything is<br /><br />After the ram<br />Nothing was the same<br />Before the ram<br />Nothing was different<br /><br />So it is<br />Before each moment<br />After each moment<br />A life<br />Continuing <br />Trial to trial<br />Sacrifice to sacrifice<br />Joy to joy<br />Sorrow to sorrow<br />Breath to breath<br />Until it ends<br />Only to begin<br />Again<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">IV. The Trial of God</span><br /><br /> <br />It is done<br />Finished<br />Just begun<br />Neither both<br />It continues<br />Why<br />did I test<br />them<br />me<br />why <br />could I <br />not <br />have faith<br />in<br />my creations<br />why<br />did<br />I <br />Need<br />To know<br />The answer<br />That remains<br /><br />Unknown<br />Even <br />After the test<br />Is complete<br /><br />My children<br />Showed me<br />The meaning<br />Of faith<br />What meaning<br />Have I<br />Shown<br />Them<br />The meaning<br />Of<br />Testing<br />Trying<br />Manipulating<br />No<br />I have<br />Shown them<br />The meaning<br />Of<br />Mercy<br />Forgiveness<br />Faith<br />Trust<br />In<br />The <br />Moment<br />In which<br />They each<br />Chose<br />What<br />To do<br />I <br />Tested them<br />Each one<br />Unique<br />The test<br />The subject<br />The response<br />Each one<br />Bears witness<br />To <br />faith<br />in<br />me<br />in <br />the part of me<br />within them<br />that is them<br />in our<br />relationship<br />our dependence<br />our unity<br />we are <br />one<br />I thought<br />I knew that <br />then<br />I realize<br />I Know that<br />Now<br />They <br />Did not desert me<br />I <br />Did not abandon them<br />In time<br />Of trial<br />I tested them<br />They turned to me<br />For strength<br />Though<br />They knew<br />I <br />Was <br />The source<br />Of <br />The suffering<br />What <br />Amazing <br />Creatures<br />I have made<br />To be<br />Separate<br />Yet <br />A part<br />Of me<br />Of all<br />We <br />Are <br />One<br />Yes<br />I know<br />I have caused pain<br />Son<br />Torn from father<br />Father sacrificing<br />Relationship with son<br />Mother<br />Alone bereft angry confused<br />Soon to die<br />To rejoin<br />Her source<br />All is<br />my doing<br />The family<br />Torn asunder<br />Yet not asunder<br />For within me<br />Within faith<br />They are<br />Have been<br />Will always be<br />Together<br />One<br />Within me<br />Perhaps <br />This is not<br />A consolation<br />Now<br />Perhaps<br />One day<br />It will be<br />Still<br />I know<br />I do not<br />Want<br />To test<br />Anymore<br />Still<br />I know<br />I must<br />Continue<br />Testing them<br />Testing me<br />One<br />And<br />The<br />Same<br />To remain<br />Certain<br />In <br />The only thing<br />That is <br />certain<br />Permanent<br />Reliable<br />Relationship<br />Me<br />You<br />Us<br />Bound<br />Together<br />Eternity<br />There is<br />No them<br />No other<br />Only<br />One<br />That<br />Is the answer<br />To the test<br />The<br />Divine human<br />Equation<br />One<br />I <br />Got it right<br />I believe<br />They did too<br />They still do<br />They always will<br />If they<br />We<br />I <br />Look within<br />To the soul<br />Our soul<br />And not without<br />To others<br />To find<br />The answer<br />The truth<br />Of<br />One<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">V. What About Me</span><br /><br />Why<br />Who<br />What<br />I do not<br />Understand<br />Why<br />I should <br />Care to<br /><br />They are <br />Foreign<br />Strange<br />Unknown<br /><br />I pity them<br />Father<br /> Sacrificing son and self<br />Mother<br /> Sitting in silence<br /> Enabling the plot<br />Son<br /> Risking all<br /> For what<br />God<br /> Self-centered<br /> Needing to know<br />The Truth<br />Even if <br />It kills<br />Them<br /><br />Leave me alone<br />I do not want<br />To know you<br /><br />Yet<br />I must<br />I do<br />For you are all<br /> Me<br />I am all<br />Of you<br />One<br /><br />No <br />I refuse to believe<br />This Truth<br /><br />I would not<br />Sacrifice<br />For any God<br /><br />I would not abandon<br />The miracle child<br />I never thought<br />Would be<br /><br />I would not<br />Risk my life<br />To prove <br />My love<br /><br />I would not<br />Ask<br /> The unaskable<br />Of those <br />I claim<br />To<br />Love<br />To serve<br />My needs<br /><br />Or<br /><br />Would I<br />Have I<br />Will I<br />Again<br /><br />Don’t we all<br /><br />No<br />I refuse<br />To believe<br />With complete faith<br />That <br />This<br />Is<br /><br />Yes<br />I know<br />With complete faith <br />How could it not<br />Be<br /><br />Love<br />Sacrifice<br />Pain<br />Surrender<br />Fury<br />Resignation<br /><br />All <br />Part of life<br />For all<br />For God<br />Our image source<br /><br />We God<br />Do not want <br />to cause <br />pain <br /><br />we still do<br /><br />We God<br />Do not want<br />To know <br />The limits<br />Of<br />Faith love<br /><br />We still do<br /><br />We God<br />Do not want<br />To give up<br /> The self<br /> The ideal<br />To find<br />The truth<br />Within<br /><br />We still do<br /><br />We God<br />Do not want<br />To sit<br />Passive inactive<br />Allowing <br />The plot<br />To unfold<br />Before our eyes<br />Within our heart<br />Unable to<br />Stop it<br /><br />We still do<br /><br />Why<br />Must this be<br />Why<br />Can it not<br />Be simple<br />Why can<br />There be<br />No pain<br />No test<br />No sacrifice<br />No surrender<br /><br />Why<br /><br />Because<br /><br />Without <br />Pain<br /> Testing<br /> Sacrifice<br /> Surrender<br />Life <br />Would not<br />Be<br />Life<br /><br />Without these<br />We would be<br />Isaac<br /> Without laughter<br />Never able to leave<br />Home<br /><br />Abraham<br /> Staying at his tent<br />Welcoming guests<br />Never going<br />Beyond<br />Comfortable borders<br /><br />Sarah<br />Protecting<br />Her precious possession<br />Never letting him<br />Go <br />Grow<br />Live<br /><br />God<br /> Not knowing<br /> How far<br />Each of us<br />Will go<br />What<br />Each of us<br />Will do<br />To surrender <br />To <br />Divine will<br />To continue<br />The story<br />Of creation<br /><br />Still<br /><br />I do not like them<br /> Yet<br />I love them<br />For I know <br />Them<br />I know<br />Their actions<br /> Feelings<br />A part of<br />Me<br />I<br />A part of<br />Them<br /><br />Remember<br />With all this<br />Suffering<br />Was <br />Not<br />A <br />Part<br />Of <br />The plan<br /><br />Suffering<br />Comes<br />Only<br />When we<br />Deny<br />That everything<br />Everyone<br />Is indeed<br />Part <br />Of the plan<br /><br />As long<br />As we realize<br />We are<br />One<br />We are<br />Part<br />Of something greater<br />Not apart<br />By <br />Our<br />Selves<br />We may experience<br />Pain<br />But suffering<br />Will stay<br /> Away<br /><br />Perhaps<br />This is<br />What God<br />What they<br />Are trying to teach<br /><br />I still<br />Don’t like <br /> The players<br />I still<br />Don’t like<br /> The plot<br />But<br />Now <br />I watch it<br />Unfold<br />Within and around<br />I see<br />Their traits in me<br /><br />Through the<br />Pain<br />I know<br />There is something<br /> Greater<br />I must<br />Learn<br /><br />Still<br /><br />I wish<br />There were<br />An<br />Easier<br />Way<br /><br />Maybe<br />Next <br />Year
<br><br>--<br>
Posted By Rabbi Steven Nathan to <a href="http://mindfultorah.blogspot.com/2009/11/binding-of-isaac-in-5-parts.html">Mindful Torah</a> at 11/06/2009 10:44:00 PM