<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN">
<html>
<head>
</head>
<body bgcolor="#ffffff" text="#000000">
<br>
Dear Hampshire Jewish Community,<br>
I sent this D'var Torah on Friday, but for some reason it wasn't
delivered. Oh well, better late than never. I hope you're all staying
warm.<br>
<br>
Steven<br>
<br>
<br>
This week's Torah portion, Vayigash( Genesis 44:18), begins with the
words<br>
"Vayigash aylav Yehudah...." “And Judah drew near” to Joseph to plead
for his brother Benjamin's freedom. Judah volunteered to be taken as a
slave in Benjamin's stead, so that his father Jacob would not 'lose'
another son.<br>
<br>
Judah’s pleas to keep him instead of Benjamin, the youngest son, and
the only other son of Joseph’s mother, Rachel – was dearest to their
father. Moved by Judah’s entreaty, Joseph decides to reveal himself to
the brothers. Moved to tears, he orders his servants to leave them
alone so that he may reveal his true identity. He told them not to feel
guilty for having left him in the pit. It was God's plan that Joseph
should end up in Egypt, where he could predict the famine, become
Pharaoh's administrator, and save his own family from starvation.
Joseph told his brothers to return to Jacob and bring the entire clan
to Egypt where he will ensure their well-being for the remaining years
of the famine.<br>
<br>
For the past two weeks I have viewed the Joseph narrative as an
allegory for the journey of the ego and the negation of the ego in
order to allow the soul to shine forth. Today’s parashah is the climax
of the story. Joseph, faced with the reality of all the suffering that
an ego can bring on the world realizes that he must reunite all the
pieces of himself in order to reconnect with the soul. He sends away
his Egyptian servants, representative of his ego’s “power” and standing
there, stripped of all sense of pretense and self-importance, breaks
down into tears and reunites with all the disparate aspects of himself
and his universe. This eventually results in the reuniting with Jacob,
his father, his human source of life (along with his long-deceased
mother). This represents the oneness that we find when we reunite
ourselves with our our divine source, the oneness of existence (however
one chooses to define or experience that sense of oneness).<br>
<br>
This story of reconciliation is a moving one and brings us closer to
the end of this chapter in Joseph’s life. Yet, as always, there is
another chapter yet to be lived. In sharing these thoughts on the
reunion as representative of the journey of negating the ego, I would
also like to share with you an original Midrash (allegorical tale in
the rabbinic tradition) that I wrote concerning this parashah.<br>
<br>
In this Midrash, Joseph’s ultimate decision is brought about by yet
another dream of his, one that calls not on father as source of life,
but on mother, and which leads him to his ultimate decision. I hope
that you find this meaningful and enjoyable.<br>
<br>
Shabbat Shalom,<br>
<br>
Steven<br>
<br>
Joseph’s Choice<br>
<br>
Joseph was seated on his throne as he watched his brothers preparing to
leave. They had just enjoyed a sumptuous feast together. They enjoyed
each other’s company as if they were old friends and had no idea that
they were dining with their brother, nor that he had been setting a
trap for them this entire time.<br>
<br>
As they prepared to leave Joseph sprang his trap. “Wait,” he cried,
“someone has stolen my golden goblet. The perpetrator shall be caught
and punished appropriately.” Amid the denial of all 11 brothers Joseph
watched as his men searched their bags. When the goblet was found in
the sack belonging to Benjamin, the only other son of Rachel, Joseph
could hear the jaws of the trap slam shut. “This one shall remain here
as my slave as punishment for the wrong he has done me. The rest of
you may return to your father.”<br>
<br>
Then something happened that Joseph never expected. Judah, the one who
had been so instrumental in what happened to Joseph all those years
ago, offered himself in Benjamin’s stead, rather than see the only
other son of Rachel, the child of Jacob’s old age, remain captive,
thereby grieving – and possibly killing – their elderly father.<br>
<br>
As Joseph stood there looking down on his brothers, he could feel
hatred and triumph raging in his heart. Yet, somewhere else deep inside
he felt another emotion trying to emerge, though he did his best to
keep it repressed. For he knew that this emotion was compassion, the
source of forgiveness, and he did not want to forgive. Above all else,
he wished nothing less than that. To see his brothers suffer as he did
was his greatest desire. Only after that might he be willing to
entertain any other idea.<br>
<br>
As he felt his hatred and compassion struggling within him he suddenly
remember a dream that he had the night before that held the key to his
decision.<br>
<br>
In this dream, he imagined that he was standing, just as he was now,
above his brothers as they watched the golden goblet emerge from
Benjamin’s sack. In that moment, it appeared all the brothers turned
as one towards Benjamin, pointing an accusing finger. They encircled
him like lions surrounding their prey, moving ever closer to him,
tightening the circle, preventing his escape.<br>
<br>
Then, Joseph saw that there was a deep pit in the earth just behind
Benjamin. As the other brothers moved closer to Benjamin he continued
to step back in fear, unaware of the danger behind him. As Benjamin
stood almost at the edge of the pit, Joseph cried out “stop!” This the
brothers did. What happened next astonished Joseph even more than it
did his brothers. For Joseph descended the steps from his throne and
pushed aside the brothers. He then stood in front of Benjamin and
looked deeply into his eyes, not saying a word. All held their breath,
wondering what he would do. He then reached out his hands and placed
them on Benjamin’s shoulders, all the while fixing his gaze on those
familiar eyes. Then, without warning, Joseph shoved Benjamin as hard
as he could and listened to his scream as he fell into the pit. The
brothers gasped as they witnessed history repeating itself.<br>
<br>
The room was silent, but for the low sobs rising from the depths where
Benjamin lay. Joseph looked down into the pit, but he could see
nothing in the darkness, except for Benjamin’s eyes looking up at him
through his tears. As he looked deeply into the well, into the eyes of
Rachel’s only other son, he suddenly heard a wail like he had never
heard before. This cry pierced his heart; it pierced the heavens. It
was as if it’s grief could tear the world in two.<br>
<br>
Then Joseph awoke. Yet, he was confused, for the wail still
continued. He looked around his bedchamber, but could not find its
source. He looked outside, but no one was there. He wanted to follow
the sound of the cry, but he could not tell from which direction it
came. It was as if the cry came from everywhere and from nowhere. It
was as if it came from deep within Joseph, himself.<br>
<br>
Then the wail changed to a deep sobbing, which gave way to the voice of
a woman crying softly, “Joseph, my Joseph, what have you done to your
brother? What have you done to yourself? To me? To us all?” Joseph
knew that voice. For even though he had not heard it since he was a
youth, it was a voice he would never forget. For who could ever forget
the voice of his mother? Joseph remained silent.<br>
<br>
Then his mother spoke again. “Joseph, you must undo what you have
done. You must release your brother from the pit. You must undo what
has been done to him and to you.” Finally Joseph spoke, “But how?
Why? For all these years, I have never forgotten what my brothers did
to me. Not a day has passed when I did not dream of setting things
right. Now my opportunity has arrived. How can you deny me this
justice, mother?”<br>
<br>
“Justice!” replied Rachel, “this is not justice. This is hatred. This
is revenge. This is what will eventually bring about the destruction
of our family, our people and all humanity, if it does not cease.”
Joseph again remained silent, as his mother continued. “Joseph, look
down into the pit. Look into the eyes of the only other child ever to
emerge from my womb. “But the pit is not here,” replied Joseph, “that
was merely in my dream.” “Look,” Rachel commanded. Suddenly Joseph
saw that there was indeed a pit in front of him, just as in the dream.
Perhaps he had never really awoken? Perhaps he simply went from one
dream into another? Or perhaps in that moment there was no separation
between the world of dreams and the world of reality? He did not know. <br>
<br>
Joseph looked into the pit and saw his brother’s eyes staring at him
through the darkness. “Look deeply into those eyes,” implored Rachel,
“and tell me who you see.” Joseph looked deeply for what seemed an
eternity, then he spoke, “I see my brother….I see you, my mother ..…I
see myself.” “Exactly,” exclaimed Rachel, “Benjamin is you and I. But
he is also your other brothers. He is your family – a family that has
tricked and deceived so many through the years. A family where twin
brothers vied for parental blessings. A family where sisters strove
with one another for a man’s love and attention. A family where
brothers plotted together to destroy the life of another brother. He
is all of this, as are you.<br>
<br>
“Continue looking into his eyes, my beloved son, and you will see
yourself in him. Then look inside your soul and you will see him, as
well as the rest of our family, in you. You must release him from his
captivity. If you do not, neither you nor anyone in our family will
every be free!”<br>
<br>
Joseph suddenly looked up from the pit, breaking gaze with his brother,
and cried into the air, “But why should I release him? You said it
yourself; in our family, it has always been brother against brother,
sister against sister. Perhaps it is in seeking retribution that is
meant to be part of our destiny!”<br>
<br>
“No!” cried Rachel, “I have come to you from my grave to tell you that
this is not the way. I am here in Bethlehem alone. I was not buried
with my family. I was not gathered to my ancestors, as is our custom.
I was left out here alone by the side of the road, as a reminder of
what jealousy and struggle brings. I may have received more love from
your father than did my sister, but in doing all I could to see that
this would never change, I separated myself from her, and ultimately
from everything and everyone.<br>
<br>
“Yet, I know that Leah and I never hated one another, as you believe
you hate your brothers. We just were too narrow-minded and selfish to
see that we were part of each other. Perhaps we understood this at the
beginning, but as the competition for love and children continued we
could each only see our individual suffering and pain. We were blind
to the suffering of the other and everyone around us, just as your
father had been blind to the suffering of his brother when he stole the
blessing and the birthright. Do not be blind Joseph! See … not with
your eyes, but with your soul. Listen … not with your ears, but with
your heart. See the suffering of your brother; for it is your
suffering, it is the suffering of all humanity. Hear his sobs, for
they are your sobs, they are the sobs of all who desire simply to live
in freedom and happiness and are prevented from doing so. Hear him and
see him now, for he is the same as you, all those years ago. He is the
same as those yet to be born who will also suffer so long as there is
hatred in the world. Look … Listen … Feel … my beloved, and you will
understand what I mean.”<br>
<br>
Slowly Joseph walked again to the edge of the pit and looked down at
his younger brother. He had been but a mere child when Joseph was sold
into slavery. He looked down and saw the eyes that were his and his
mothers. As he continued to look, he began to feel the hatred well up
within him once again. Then he remembered his mother’s plea. He
breathed in deeply and looked again, this time with his soul. He saw
the pain and the fear in his brother. The longer he stood there, the
more he felt the same pain and fear within himself. He wanted to run
from it, but he did not. He knew he needed to stay there, still,
quiet, and allow himself to feel these emotions, no matter how
difficult it might be. Then he began to truly listen, for the first
time, to the sounds coming from the well. They were not sounds of
hatred, envy or jealousy. They were the sounds of pain, the cries of
someone who did not know if he would see sunlight again. The sounds of
someone who believed that he would soon die and never again know
happiness. They were the sounds that Joseph had made all those years
ago as he lay in the pit alone, prepared to die.<br>
<br>
As he truly looked and listened, he could feel the pain, fear and
longing deep within him. As he continued to pay attention to those
feelings, he then sensed them slowly turning into a sense of compassion
and mercy toward his brother, towards himself, toward his brothers and
towards all in the world who are suffering. As the compassion and
mercy grew, the pain, fear – and anger – diminished. Not that it
disappeared totally, but it did disappear enough for him to begin to
realize that his mother was right. The only way to break the cycle of
anger, fear, jealousy and hatred that had plagued his family was to
release Benjamin – and himself – from the pit. The only way to do his
small part in bringing compassion and peace to humanity and the world
was to show compassion towards Benjamin. No. Not just Benjamin. He
needed to show compassion and mercy to all of his brothers. The past
was past. This was a new day, a new moment. And Joseph had the
opportunity to change the present. Hopefully, the future would follow
suit, but that would remain to be seen.<br>
<br>
At that moment, Joseph realized that he was still in his throne room,
surrounded by his brothers. He saw the youngest, Benjamin, not deep in
a pit, but in the clutches of his men, prepared to be taken into
slavery. He saw Judah, now with a look of bravery and compassion on
his face, prepared to take Benjamin’s place so that their father would
not again experience a loss like he had when they sold Joseph into
slavery. The faces were the same as all those years ago, yet they were
completely different. As he looked at them, he felt love and
compassion begin to well up inside of him and he knew what he must do.<br>
<br>
He ordered his guards to release Benjamin and then commanded them to
leave him alone with these Canaanite men. He knew that he was about to
reveal his true self to his brothers and that they were about to begin
the process of which his mother had dreamed. His reunion with them,
with himself, and ultimately with his father, was about to begin.<br>
<br>
He had no idea how things would turn out. All he knew in that moment
was what he must do in order to bring some peace and healing to his
family and himself, thereby bringing a little more peace and wholeness
to all of God’s creation then, and hopefully in the future.. <br>
<br>
<div class="moz-signature">-- <br>
<meta name="Title" content="Steven P">
<meta name="Keywords" content="">
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; ">
<meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document">
<meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11">
<meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11">
<link rel="File-List"
href="rabbi%20email%20signature_files/filelist.xml">
<title>Steven P</title>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Author>IT Administrator</o:Author>
<o:Template>Normal</o:Template>
<o:LastAuthor>IT Administrator</o:LastAuthor>
<o:Revision>3</o:Revision>
<o:Created>2007-11-03T22:32:00Z</o:Created>
<o:LastSaved>2007-11-03T22:33:00Z</o:LastSaved>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>30</o:Words>
<o:Characters>176</o:Characters>
<o:Lines>1</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>1</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>216</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>11.773</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:UseMarginsForDrawingGridOrigin/>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]-->
<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"Times New Roman";
panose-1:0 2 2 6 3 5 4 5 2 3;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:50331648 0 0 0 1 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Mistral;
panose-1:0 3 9 7 2 3 4 7 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:50331648 0 0 0 1 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"Comic Sans MS";
panose-1:0 3 15 7 2 3 3 2 2 2;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:50331648 0 0 0 1 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"Lucida Calligraphy";
panose-1:0 3 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:50331648 0 0 0 1 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";}
a:link, span.MsoHyperlink
{color:blue;
text-decoration:underline;
text-underline:single;}
a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed
{color:purple;
text-decoration:underline;
text-underline:single;}
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-parent:"";
font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";}
@page Section1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.Section1
{page:Section1;}
@page Section2
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-columns:2 even .5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.Section2
{page:Section2;}
@page Section3
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.Section3
{page:Section3;}
-->
</style>
<div class="Section1">
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: Mistral;">Steve
Nathan<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Comic Sans MS";"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Comic Sans MS";"><br
style="page-break-before: auto;" clear="all">
</span>
<div class="Section2">
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">Steven
P. Nathan<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">Campus
Rabbi and<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">Interim
LGBTQ Advisor<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">Hampshire
College <span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">Office
of Spiritual Life – Box SA<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">Amherst,
MA 01002<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">Phone:
(413) 559-6234<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">Fax:
(413) 559-5663<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Comic Sans MS";"><a
href="mailto:snathan@hampshire.edu">snathan@hampshire.edu</a><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Comic Sans MS";"><br
style="page-break-before: auto;" clear="all">
</span>
<div class="Section3">
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Comic Sans MS";"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy"; color: black;">"The
more deeply immersed I became in the thinking of the
prophets, the more powerfully it became clear to me what the lives of
the
prophets sought to convey: that morally speaking there is no limit to
the
concern one must feel for the suffering of human beings. It also became
clear
to me that in regard to cruelties committed in the name of a free
society, some
are guilty, all are responsible."<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy"; color: black;">-Rabbi
Abraham Joshua Heschel</span><span
style="font-size: 9pt; font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
</div>
</body>
</html>