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<DIV><FONT face=Arial>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Verdana>ARE YOU TIRED OF BEING DEFEATED BY
WIZROBES? </FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Verdana><EM>ARE YOU TIRED OF HAVING YOUR HEARTS
DEPLETED NO MATTER HOW QUICKLY YOU GATHER HEART CONTAINERS?</EM></FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Verdana><STRONG>WELL, WE HAVE THE SOLUTION FOR
YOU</STRONG>!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Verdana>Presenting, the new</FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Verdana><STRONG><FONT size=6>RED
RING!!</FONT></STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=center><STRONG><FONT face=Verdana size=6></FONT></STRONG> </DIV>
<DIV align=center><FONT face=Verdana><IMG alt="" hspace=0
src="cid:003d01c3d87a$8d40f4c0$a66f14ac@qrrbrbirlbel" align=baseline
border=0></FONT><FONT face=Arial>!!!!!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana>This **revolutionary** new piece of magical jewelery is
just what you need to get back on your feet after a hard days work rescueing
dumb, inept princesses and/or princes and/or characters important to the plot!
With just one application, it INSTANTLY reduces the amount of physical damage
you take to 25%!!!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana>That's <U>75% OFF</U> of the damage you normally
get!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana>Now how much would you pay for such a fabulous
product?<BR>300 rupees?<BR><EM>400 rupees?</EM><BR><EM>Even <STRONG>500
</STRONG>rupees?</EM></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana>Well, not the RED RING! We're letting it go for ONLY 250
rupees in this exclusive mass-produced email offer! Just send your name,
address, and rupee credit account number to the following address:<BR><EM>Secret
Room, Upperright corner<BR>Dungeon nine<BR>Hyrule, 17256</EM></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana>Don't be fooled by imitation products such as the
alleged "RED MAIL" or "BLUE RING" or even "GREAT FAIRY'S PROTECTION" - most are
only gimmicks, and only reduce the amount of damage you take to A MERE 50
PERCENT!! Only the red ring garuntees your physical damage reduced to
25%!!!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana>Just hear some success stories from these satisfied
customers:</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana><EM>"Damn, dungeon number nine sure was a fucking bitch.
I mean, damn dude, there were, like, wizrobes and those weird snake things and
those fire things and everything. I mean hell, I couldn't fucking move. Then I
found that secret room and got myself a bitch ass red ring, and those fucks
didn't know what the fuck hit them. The red ring is a fucking lives saver
yo."</EM> - Link, local hero, Hyrule</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana><EM>"omrfg thiss was tehbest rinig inw wthe worald i
aoslove this wread irng gecause its soooooooooo aweseoimnee ngra"</EM> -
A\/\/350/\/\3 |)U|)3, channel #WTFASSPOOLOL</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana><EM>"This product was great! These four guys would
always beat me up after school, but after getting the red ring, it was just like
only one guy was beating me up after school!"</EM> - Timmy Whimsy, 4th
grader</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana><EM>"Why are my clothes red?"</EM> - Harold
Grumslebottem, Portland, OR</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana><EM>"This product was definitely... worth the money I
paid for it. It's a [terrific] piece of [equipment] that I'd never want to...
leave home without!"</EM> - Alice Wittleson</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana><EM>"Hummunana hummamamamaam hummummummummafarp."</EM> -
Randell P. Hoffinpenis IV., esq.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial></FONT><BR><FONT face=Verdana>Send your orders in
now<EM><STRONG> </STRONG>while supplies last!!</EM> (Actually, there's only one
red ring!) <STRONG>So act extra quickly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana>If you are unsatisfied with the quality of this product,
return unused portion for full refund.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana>Visit our website for more information:<BR></FONT><A
href="http://www.hyrulianshops.com&storeID=@3223391312/~bjk02/princess"><FONT
face=Verdana>http://www.hyrulianshops.com&storeID=@3223391312/%7E%62%6A%6B02/%70%72%69%6Ece%73%73</FONT></A></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Verdana>You may now return to your daily
broadcasting.</FONT></DIV></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>